Jul 12

The Ruins is a surprising movie in that it is rated R in theatres and is released in an unrated version, and yet contains virtually no nudity and surprisingly little profanity, even in the unrated version. The movie comes by its R/unrated rep the old fashioned way: violence and disturbing imagry.

As a high-tension suspense flick with a supernatural edge, it delivers equal measures of psychological terror and pure gross-out. It’s the kind of movie that may not make you scream a lot, but may give you some sleepless nights or, in the case of this movie, make you get nervous every time you feel an itch…

The set-up is typical of the latest spurt of torture-horror flicks as you have a group of attractive college kids lured to a remote location. Only this time, instead of a cold, dour European setting, it’s Mexico and instead of a bleak hostel, it’s a Mayan Temple that is the location they are lured to.

The young group goes to the ruins in search of some archeological adventure, but once they get there and set foot on the pyramid, some locals show up and become violent about letting them off it, and show a willingness to use lethal force to prevent any escape.

As a psychological mind-pluck, though, the film’s only getting started and things get even more disturbing quite quickly. Boasting some great cinematography and lots of creep-out horror without resorting to having sex perverts cutting the kids to ribbons for kicks, The Ruins is one of the first truly disturbing movies I’ve watched in a while, and whenever I get an itch, the memories of this film come flooding back, unwanted.

With great special features on both DVD and Blu-Ray (click here for online coupons), as well as a nice alternate ending, this is one DVD/Blu-Ray package that delivers the goods. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly entertaining for folks who prefer to be creeped out, rather than grossed out.

Jul 12

It’s been four years (wow!) since I reviewed the last version of this PC game, and in that time, although the political landscape has changed quite a bit, Political Machine 2008 has changed hardly at all. Sure, there’s a roster update, but the game itself, as well as its art and design, have hardly changed at all.

Intended as a quick-play title that brushes over the details, Political Machine 2008 lets you choose to play as either a GOP or Dem candidate and they tosses you in against a series of increasingly difficult-to-defeat opponents from the other side of the aisle.

The strengths of the game four years ago are still strengths today; the game is sharp and fast-paced and even displays some wit at times. It keeps its politics fun and breezy, like an MTV campaign ad, rather than a PBS documentary on the political process.

Unfortunately, the game is simply too simple to appeal to the deeper political thinker; with the right strategy, in this game, Jimmy Carter can win over Ronald Reagan in a landslide, and we all know how he fared historically. (Yup, Carter got beat so bad, he ended up wearing personalized baby clothes for the next decade.)

The game also still limits the number of actions a candidate can perform each week by a stamina rating; each action has a stamina cost and once you’ve used it up, you simply have to finish your turn, as no more can be done that week. That wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem like your opponent had twice as much stamina as you do, no matter what.

Many special events are still completely random, such as when you are given a chance to be on TV, on a popular show. Management of speeches and topics seems a bit more organizes this time out, but endorsements are still ill-thought-out. You see, in the game, there are various special interest groups you can win the approval of; parody versions of leftist and right-wing groups, such as the ACLU and the NRA.

Trouble is, the winning strategy is to win as many of these endorsements as possible, regardless of that group’s affiliation; there’s no negative penalty, for example, if a Democrat wins the NRA endorsement or a Republican wins the support of NOW. All you need to do is have enough points built up to buy that endorsement, and grab it before your opponent does.

Of course, we know reality doesn’t work this way; and that’s the main drawback of Political Machine 2008; just as it was four years ago, the game simply isn’t deep enough or realistic enough to satisfy real political junkies. I mean, heck, the game lets you run as Arnold Schwarzenegger, who isn’t even eligible, for crying out loud!

Folks who desire a more detailed political election sim may find what they’re looking for in TheorySpark’s President Forever; as for Political Machine 2008, it’s not a bad introductory title for the younger set, or as a party game, but there’s just not enough there to satisfy anyone looking for a deeper, more realistic political sim gaming experience.

Jul 12

Neither my wife nor I are fans of Larry the Cable Guy. Generally speaking, we consider his brand of comedy a bit too loud and obnoxious to be truly enjoyable. And if I never here someone holler, “Gitter done!” again, I’ll be quite pleased, actually. So our expectations when we popped in Witless Protection, the latest film comedy from Larry the Cable Guy, our expectations were already set about as low as they could go.

So color us surprised when the movie came off quite well, earning several genuine belly-laughs and a bit of our admiration for the way it avoided salty language in general and violating our “three strike” rule.

The plot has Larry cast as a sheriff’s deputy in a small town who would like nothing better than to join the FBI … or become the local sheriff. When he witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping and takes the safety of a young woman into his own hands, he’s told he’s screwed up an FBI case by nearly everyone.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving and since this is Larry’s movie, you can just about guess how badly he’s actually screwed up or not. The film is reminiscent of the original Dukes of Hazzard TV show in terms of the level of its humor, but that’s not a completely bad thing, and since Larry never once utters his standup catchphrase, he fits into the role he’s playing a bit better than in other filmic outings.

The movie is still a bit of escapist fantasy; Jenny McCarthy plays Larry’s undyingly-loyal girlfriend who looks like she does diet pill reviews, even though it’s unlikely she’d ever give a guy like Larry the time of day outside of a movie studio set. And even Ivana Milicevic, who plays the attractive gal in danger Larry’s trying to protect, makes a play for him, although to the film’s credit, Larry resists her advances and stays loyal to his girlfriend … a rarity in movies, these days, when most characters hop into bed with each other at each and every opportunity (and without consequences, by and large).

All in all, Witless Protection is hardly a classic film, but as a good popcorn movie, it’s certainly an acceptable choice. Worthy of a rental, at least.

Jul 12

Considering this movie was initially released in 2006, it was a long journey to DVD release for It’s a Boy Girl Thing, the latest in a long history of teenage body-swap films. Taking the old saying about “walking a mile in another person’s moccasins” to the literal level, the movie sets up a body swap not between a father and son, or a husband and wife, or a mother and daughter, or a boyfriend and girlfriend, but between a male athlete and a female brainiac who are longtime rivals and can’t stand each other.

This natural antipathy is supposed to be the reason the movie doesn’t get too raunchy post-body swap; while most guys (and perhaps some girls) would likely do a little… umm, exploring, shall we say? … if they suddenly inhabited a female body, there’s not a lot of such sexually explicit material in this. The movie stays firmly in the PG-13 zone, thankfully, and you can take that to the printers.

Samaire Armstrong and Kevin Zegers do the co-star body-swap honors and are serviceable in their roles, though not quite as memorable as Freaky Friday, Dream A Little Dream, Like Father Like Son, Vice Versa, Prelude to a Kiss, Dating the Enemy or 18 Again; fortunately, the film is several steps above Rob Scheidner’s raunch-fest, The Hot Chick. So there’s that, at least.

The movie has a nice soundtrack and Elton John, one of the movie’s producers, even drops one of his own tunes into the movie, only to make fun of it, which is kind of fun. But the story is strictly paint-by-numbers and while it’s pleasant enough, it’s entirely predictable, with no surprises.

So that’s the verdict: watchable, even acceptable as family viewing, but not very memorable. Sorry, Elton.